Autism is not an illness: The problem with how we diagnose Autism

This article has been moved to michellesuttonwrites.com

http://michellesuttonwrites.com/2015/11/17/autism-is-not-an-illness-the-problem-with-how-we-diagnose-autism/

Autism is not an illness: discourse and semantics

This article has been moved to michellesuttonwrites.com

http://michellesuttonwrites.com/2015/11/17/autism-is-not-an-illness-discourse-and-semantics/

Who are the REAL experts? ... more on privilege

Earlier this week I wrote about privilege. We all have some. Some of us have more than others. 

This week I had opportunity to try to use my privilege in an effort to help some friends of mine. I'll explain what happened. 

I sometimes write articles that get published by The Huffington Post.

Twice recently Autistic friends of mine have submitted to them, and not been published. Because I thought the words they had to offer were valuable I have done a bit of an experiment with HuffPo and submitted my own articles, that carried essentially the same message as my friends article did- including direct quotes from these friends, with links back to their blogs where the posts are published- and my articles have been published by HuffPo.

So- here is my question to The Huffington Post:

Why will you publish the message of acceptance of Autism, and the message of the need for advocacy to support Autistics, when it comes from a non-Autistic person..... but not when it comes from an Autistic person?

Sadly, I think I know the answer. It's because as a non-Autistic parent to Autistic children I am afforded privilege that Autistic parents are not. 

You see, Autistic people are very much caught in a catch 22. Society has been told, and believes, that all Autistic people are generally less capable than non-Autistic people. This means that if they say something about parenting it is not as valuable or significant as if a non-Autistic persons words.... even when they are talking about raising an Autistic child. Then, on the odd occasion that an Autistic parent says something and people think it's great, somehow the Autistic person is now seen as less Autistic.... or sometimes even confronted and accused of lying about begin Autistic (yes- this happens).... and their view point is again put back in the position of less valuable. 

Let's really have a think about the wisdom of listening to non-Autisitc people as our primary source of information about Autism. 

Above is an image that contains the title “Ask the REAL experts:” and has 4 pictures of female presenting faces(the one on the top left wearing a cute pink hat with ears), each with a speech bubble next to it. 

The first speech bubble says, “Would you get a tattoo from me? I mean, I know a lot about tattoos because I am married to a tattooist, and I even have a lot of tattoos. So, it makes perfect sense that you'd come to me to get a tattoo, even though I am neither licensed or experienced, right?” 

The second speech bubble says, “One of my besties has a pilot's license, so folks are going to let me fly them around in an airplane. Right?”. 

The third speech bubble says, “My husband is a nurse, so I can totally put in a catheter for you and administer your IV medications. OK?”. 

The last speech bubble says, “My boyfriend boxed in college, so if you need anybody punched out, I can tell you all about how to do it.”

Below the faces and speech bubbles to the left is the large word “No?” Followed by “Well, consider this: That’s pretty much what you're doing when you go to non-Autistic people to learn about Autism. And no, it won't be on your skin permanently, endanger your life or get you put in jail. But when you get the wrong messages and information and pass them on to your kids, you can most certainly damage them permanently.”

My thanks to Lei, Sparrow and Kassiane for their permission to use this image with their words and pictures. 

So, what do you think? Should HuffPo be favouring my voice on the topic of parenting Autistic children over the voices of Autistic people who have asked to have their work published by them? I don't. 

To be honest, I feel really conflicted by the fact that this happens. On one hand, I am glad they are happy to publish what I say when I do my best to let people know how much listening to Autistic people has helped me. On the other hand, it feels very, very wrong that the message that Autistic people have something to offer is only acceptable when it is filtered through a non-Autistic person. I am allowed, as a non-Autistic person to say "hey! I have something to offer here!".... why aren't they? 

After all, who are the real experts? 

Likeness is normal

Last week I wrote a blog post called Difference is normal. I wrote it because it seems to me that we are all different from each other in so many ways, and even though being different is normal, we hold each other at arms length because of perceived differences. I was thinking that if we could accept that difference is normal, that maybe we could get on with accepting each other, just as we are, and celebrate those differences as being something that strengthen us as a community. I was thinking that it would be great if realising we all have our differences meant we could accept that difference is normal and maybe have more empathy for other peoples differences. 

I've been doing some more thinking. And it seems to me that we are all alike in one way or another. And I was thinking that it is just as important to realise we are all similar as it is to realise we are all different. 

I was thinking about it after I wrote last weeks post. Then I read a post called Not Different by Brenda from Mama Be Good. After pointing out that her Autistic son needs the same things as any other child-  "..... to play, to have fun, and to feel good about himself.... connection, guidance, and people who get him..." Brenda closes her article by saying "Autism does not equal Different". She is right.

In our difference, there is always similarity. 

You might think this is a contradiction in terms. Let's think about it together.

We may all jump differently, but we are all still jumping.
Photo credit Mell Mallin Photography

I have blue eyes, you have brown eyes. We both have eyes.

I have short hair, you have long hair. We both have hair.

I like chocolate, you like ice-cream. We both like sweet food.

I am interested in psychology, you are interested in mathematics. We both have interests.

I live in Australia, you live in England. We both belong somewhere.

I get worked up about rights for disabled people, you get worked up about dangerous workplace conditions. We are both concerned about justice.

My Son and Daughter are Autistic. My Husband and Daughter are Bipolar. I am neither. We are all people just trying to get along in this world and do our best with what we have, challenges and all. 

Let's recognise our differences. Let's accept them as being normal. Then let's look for our likenesses. They are there. Let's find them and talk about them. Let's focus on ways we can relate to each other instead of looking for excuses to drive wedges between us. 

Difference is normal

I got to thinking this weekend about how we seem to like sameness. You know, we hang out with people who have similar interests as we do. We like to talk to people who hold similar opinions to us. 

A lot of what is reported in the news would seem to confirm we are afraid of situations we are not familiar with and people who seem different than us. 

But really, when you think about it, we are all different from each other in one way or another. In fact we are all different from each other in many ways when we really look into it. 

to have a closer look at this image, click on it

It seems to me that if we are honest with ourselves

difference is normal.

So what are we afraid of?

This is why I advocate

This. This is why I advocate. This is why I go on and on and on about the right supports. This is why I get all worked up about accepting people who are different than us. 

click here to watch the video

My kids have another difference than these kids, but they live in the same society- one that holds such strong prejudices that these kids see themselves as different and therefore less and bad and ugly simply because that is what society tells them. This is horrifying. 

This is why I advocate.  Because when I fight for "disability rights" I am really fighting for human rights. Because when I stand up for justice for my kids I am also working towards making a change that will support all kids who are treated unjustly simply for not fitting the "norm". 

This is why I advocate. This is why I will never stop.