2014 photo challenge

One of the things I did last year that I really enjoyed was a photo a day challenge set by Fat Mum Slim.  

This year, as part of my desire to live more intentionally I have decided to set myself my own photo challenge. I'm calling it 

52 weeks * 365 photos

and it works like this......

Every Monday I will take a photo to suit the Monday prompt, every Tuesday I will take a photo to suit the Tuesday prompt, and so on.... 

I am hoping to keep a record of how I am travelling over the course of the year - the things that are inspiring me, the things that are hard, the things that are good. You get the idea. 

I will be posting the pictures daily in an album on the different kinds of normal Facebook page, and will post a collection of each months pictures in a post here as I complete the month. 

You are welcome to join me. I do ask that if you choose to use my prompts that you tag or link back to my Facebook page, please. You can also use the hashtag #differentkindsofnormal if you are into hashtagging.

Here's to an intentionally lived 2014.

Happy New Year!! 

Intentional living

Do you make New Years Resolutions?  I never have in the past. 

This year I am not really making resolutions either, but I have decided to make myself this reminder poster of the things I wish to be intentional about over the next months. 

They are all about overcoming fear, doing things I enjoy, noticing beauty, focussing on positivity and looking after myself (and therefore my family). 

What things do you want to be more intentional about in your life? Why don't you make a list and put it somewhere you will notice so it reminds you what you want to achieve? 

Life is complicated and then you get depressed

The title of this post is not meant to be facetious or sarcastic. Nor is it a cry for help. It is a statement of fact for many. Including me. 

Depression is really, really common. If you have not experienced it yourself, you know someone who has. 

Not many people talk about it. This could be because of the stigma attached with mood problems. I think it is decreasing, but it is still there. Comments like "you're just tired" "snap out of it" "why are you down in the dumps? your life is not that bad" "just think of all the things you have to be grateful for" and so on are still pretty commonplace. 

Or in my case.... "well, it's no wonder you are so tired and stressed, you have 6 kids".

While well meaning, those types of comments are not really very helpful! 

There is a difference between being tired (exhausted, even) and being depressed. Over the years I have learned how to distinguish quite well between the two, and these days I don't have to get really sick before I know to do something about it. 

The first time I experienced depression was when our third baby was about 1 1/2 I think. It probably started well before that, but I didn't realise something was not right until I noticed I'd been staying in bed almost all day letting the kids watch heaps of TV, and then getting up an hour before Hubby was due home from work to straighten up the house so he wouldn't know how badly I was feeling. My mind was in a fog, and I couldn't easily make decisions. I was snappy with the kids. I was not just tired. I was unwell. Over time I managed to pull myself out of it, not realising that I could actually go and get some help. In hindsight, and after discussing with my doctor, it seems likely I had a case of undiagnosed post natal depression. By the time he was 2 I was pretty much OK again. 

The next time was after baby five was born. Around the same time we made a 100km move, Hubby was diagnosed Bipolar. MasterL was experiencing huge anxiety issues and was finally diagnosed Aspergers. I had very little support in a new town, Hubby was studying and working, and I slipped into depression quite hard. This time though we were seeing a great psychologist for MasterL and she noticed what was happening. Hubby noticed too this time, and between them they talked me in to trying some medication. I am so glad they did. I went from being anxious, stressed, angry, disorganised, unable to enjoy things I usually loved and just plain miserable back to my normal content, slightly organised, mostly relaxed and tolerant self in the space of a few weeks. Over about 18 months I learned some new coping strategies and slowly reduced the medication under the supervision of a doctor, until I didn't need it. I've been off it and coping well for about 3 years now. 

Until about 2 months ago. When I first noticed some of my tell tale signs appearing I put it down to stress from Uni work load. Of course I should be stressed... I had assignments due and a baby to watch. Of course I was a bit snappy.... the baby was teething and so I wasn't sleeping.  Of course I was tired.... I have a lot to do every day and a lot on my mind. Overtiredness leads to anxiety, anxiety leads to sleeplessness, sleeplessness leads to grumpiness..... it all made sense.

Then Uni finished for the semester. And I am feeling no better really! 

For those of you who know me for real, please don't worry. And please don't make a big deal. I am OK right now. My mood is low, yes, and I am struggling a bit. But I know what to do. I have had tests to make sure it's not just my thyroid playing up again (it does that!), and I am off to the doctor next week to have a chat. I am exercising when I can. I am eating well. I am not lying in bed all day. I am OK. I just know myself well enough now to know that the way I feel at the moment is not my usual, and I need to look after myself a bit now before it gets worse. I'm not worried about it. I'll go talk to the doctor and see what she thinks. If she recommends some meds again, I'll take them. 

Depression is not the end of the world. It is a common condition, often a reaction to stressful circumstances, and is very treatable. 

If you, like me, struggle with depression, please get some help before you get really sick. Maybe you can just start by talking to a friend you trust and and asking them to help you think through what would be smart to do about it. If you don't want to talk to someone you know there are places you can seek help. Beyond Blue is a good place to start. If you are already in a pretty bad way, please don't wait. Call your doctor and make an appointment. Tell them how you are feeling and ask for help. Please remember that depression is just part of the normal range of human experience. Don't be embarrassed. Get some support and get well. 

one thing at a time

I made it through another semester of Uni.

I'll know in a few weeks how successful I was, but for now I am just enjoying not having the constant pressure of needing to be studying. I spent much less time than I wanted to with my text book in my hand, but the subject material was never far from my mind.

During the semester I had a few other major things on, as I usually do, and the kids were their usual time consuming selfs.

I guess I was looking pretty tired after a few nights of being up with BabyR teething, and a friend asked me if I was OK. I did a bit of a stress dump on her..... you know, the one where you blurt out all the things that are on your mind and what you have to get done in the next week.

She said, "I don't know how you do it all! You must be a little bit crazy".

This has been said to me numerous times over the years.... but for the first time I totally agreed. I was completely overwhelmed and had reached the point of being unproductive because of it. I had finally bitten off more than I could chew and having someone else notice was sobering in a way. There was nothing I could get out of without letting someone down, so I just had to get things done. And I did.

One thing at a time.

It's not the first time I've had to do it, but the first time I'd put myself in the situation. Previously I'd had to deal with things that had just landed in front of me, where as this time all the things in front of me I'd chosen to do. I will remember in future to pace myself a little better. But it was a good reminder that I can get through overwhelming situations.

I can stay calm.

I can prioritise.

I can ignore the less important and focus on the task at hand.

I can get through the tough times.

One thing at a time.

Mirror..... a free verse poem

when I look in the mirror I see
lines on my face
that weren't there before
and if I think back through the years
to remember all the things
that were difficult
or stressful
or distressing
it would be easier to let myself resent you
than it is to be thankful

when I look in the mirror I see 
grey hairs
that weren't there before
and if I think back through the years
to remember all the things
that were hurtful
or confusing
or undeserved
it would be easier to let myself remain fearful
than it is move on and enjoy now

when I look in the mirror I see 
tiredness in my eyes
that wasn't there before
and if I think back through the years
to remember all the things
that were upsetting
or exhausting
or just plain unfair
it would be easier to speak of my life with you as a struggle
than it is to be positive

it would be easier
and people might excuse it
or might accept it
or expect it
or prefer to hear the story of the pain and difficulty

but I don't want to tell that story

it is only half the story

and it helps no one to retell the bits that explain how sick you were

unless it helps to explain to those who cannot have seen

how hard you have worked
how brave you have been
how much you have sacrificed
the battles you have fought
the victories you have won
the demons you have faced
how far you have come
how it all shaped who you are now

how knowing you has changed me for the better
how journeying with you has helped me be stronger
how partnering with you has brought out the best in me
how remaining with you has been a privilege
how planning with you fills me with hope and expectation

so I will choose to tell the other half of the story
against all the odds
laughing at the statistics
flying in the face of the expected
making our own reality full of triumphs and joys
deciding daily to act with determination
and in love
and to persist
with thankfulness
with courage
with mindfulness
with positivity
with contentment
to continue to look forward
not back
to work hard
to smile
to laugh
to remember all the good things
and to make more good as the story unfolds



when I look in the mirror I see a woman who is
content
not in spite of 
but because of 
the journey with you
I am happy with my reflection

















This post is part of The Blogfast Club organised by Kate at kate says stuff

Thunder

She covers her ears as the ambulance rushes down the street, sirens wailing.

She cries in discomfort as she runs inside to escape the clatter of the lawn mower.

She rocks in agitation to cope with the sound of the cutlery clinking and clashing at the meal table. 

She wears her ear defenders to muffle the sound of the loud music when she is in the school hall.

But when it rains.

When it rains!

When it rains she presses her face up against the glass and looks out into the sky.

Will it? 

Will it!!

Her body is tense and coiled like a spring.

Will it?

THUNDER!!! 

When it thunders she squeals as the sound ricochets around in her head. She jumps up and down as the pressure explodes through her chest. 

Squeals and jumps with delight.

DELIGHT!

The thunder echoes. Reverberates. 

She dances. She flaps. She spins. 

......She slows.......

She stops. 

She waits.

She returns to the window and presses her face up against the glass and looks out into the sky.

Will it? 



This weeks challenge for the Blogfast Club was to write a fictional piece to the prompt 'thunder'. Go to kate says stuff to find out more. 

Likeness is normal

Last week I wrote a blog post called Difference is normal. I wrote it because it seems to me that we are all different from each other in so many ways, and even though being different is normal, we hold each other at arms length because of perceived differences. I was thinking that if we could accept that difference is normal, that maybe we could get on with accepting each other, just as we are, and celebrate those differences as being something that strengthen us as a community. I was thinking that it would be great if realising we all have our differences meant we could accept that difference is normal and maybe have more empathy for other peoples differences. 

I've been doing some more thinking. And it seems to me that we are all alike in one way or another. And I was thinking that it is just as important to realise we are all similar as it is to realise we are all different. 

I was thinking about it after I wrote last weeks post. Then I read a post called Not Different by Brenda from Mama Be Good. After pointing out that her Autistic son needs the same things as any other child-  "..... to play, to have fun, and to feel good about himself.... connection, guidance, and people who get him..." Brenda closes her article by saying "Autism does not equal Different". She is right.

In our difference, there is always similarity. 

You might think this is a contradiction in terms. Let's think about it together.

We may all jump differently, but we are all still jumping.
Photo credit Mell Mallin Photography

I have blue eyes, you have brown eyes. We both have eyes.

I have short hair, you have long hair. We both have hair.

I like chocolate, you like ice-cream. We both like sweet food.

I am interested in psychology, you are interested in mathematics. We both have interests.

I live in Australia, you live in England. We both belong somewhere.

I get worked up about rights for disabled people, you get worked up about dangerous workplace conditions. We are both concerned about justice.

My Son and Daughter are Autistic. My Husband and Daughter are Bipolar. I am neither. We are all people just trying to get along in this world and do our best with what we have, challenges and all. 

Let's recognise our differences. Let's accept them as being normal. Then let's look for our likenesses. They are there. Let's find them and talk about them. Let's focus on ways we can relate to each other instead of looking for excuses to drive wedges between us.