Thursday, July 30, 2015

in support of Adam Goodes: a message to his bullies

I'm doing it again! I'm wiring about AFL. Only this time it's mostly about manners and respect and advocacy.

For the background to this post, you should read yesterdays post >> click here<< it will open in a new window. 

This post will be shorter. I just have one thing to say, and it is to all those people who have been actively justifying their poor behaviour for the past 48 hours. 

To all of you who say "Booing Goodes isn't racist, I'm booing because.... 
{insert as many of the tired old reasons that are circulating here as you wish}
I'd like to know:

If your kid came home from school and said they were being picked on and had asked for the kids doing it to stop because their feeling were being hurt but the other kids wouldn't stop, would that be OK? 

If you went to work and people there abused you every time they walked past your desk citing a reason that you believed to be invalid, and refused to stop when you asked them to, would that be OK? 

How about if you made a mistake, and people yelled at you every time you took on a new task to remind you that they noticed your mistake a long time ago, and you asked them to stop but they decided continue yelling and to tell you you should stop whining and just suck it up, would that be OK? 

I'm guessing no. I'm guessing if it was you turning up to work and being booed, yelled at, called names, and generally abused you'd be pretty upset by that. You might even call the people involved bullies. And you'd be right. 

I'm guessing that if you decided to take a couple of days off to catch a break from the bullying and abuse, and people called you a sook, you'd feel like that was unfair. You might even consider quitting that job to get away from the stress. And many people would understand you doing that because turning up to work week after week and trying to carry on and ignore bullying takes its toll eventually, no matter who you are. 

So, to all of you vigorously defending your right to be an asshole from the safety of your anonymous seat in the stand and from behind your computer keyboard, I say this:

I don't care what you say your motivation is. I don't even care what your motivation actually is. It is impossible to convince bigots they are bigots, so I won't even try. 

But how about this? Your behaviour is hurting someone. He has said it is hurting him. He has asked for it to stop. If you choose to keep on with your behaviour, knowing it hurts, then you have bad manners, and show a lack of respect for other human beings. You are a bully. 

I see bullies a lot as I raise my Autistic children. These bullies seem to enjoy picking on people who stand out as a little bit different. The pleasure seems to increase if the person responds in an act of self advocacy. You are those people. You are just the same as the kids in the playground who call names and exclude from games while laughing and patting each other on the back. It is ugly in children and even uglier in adults. 

I regularly stand up for my children. I have to stand up for them to other kids who behave the same way you do. Sometimes I have to stand up for them to adults who behave the way you do. I have to stand up for them to systems that are based on the values you uphold with your callous and stubborn refusal to admit you might have been wrong. And I will stand up for Adam too. 

Stop being bullies. Sit down and watch the game with respect for those there to provide your afternoons entertainment. Cheer the good stuff. Save your boos for the true injustices in the world. 


  1. Yep. At the end of the day, it (almost) doesn't matter why people are doing it. It matters that they're doing it. Bullying is bullying. And all these grown people are acting like a pack of mean girls. No matter what we think someone has done to upset us, it does not justify us lowering ourselves to a level that is degrading to all involved. So while I maintain my support for Adam Goodes and I have very strong opinions on why what has been happening to him is completely unacceptable, I do understand that a lot of people do not. But I appeal to those people to ask themselves, if we boil it down to basic human decency, can we really condone the act of treating somebody so poorly, when it would be considered absolutely abhorrent if it happened to us or our children? Don't we want to be able to say we're better than that? It seems disappointing to know that it seems to be a resounding, "Nope. Don't care either."

    1. Yes!! Like a pack of mean girls!! And, yes, sadly I agree- they won't care no matter what the reason is